Happiness in both your business and personal life is sometimes a matter of subtraction, not addition.
Hayden points out what happens if you stop doing the following 10 things.
People make mistakes. Employees don't meet your expectations. Friends don't do what you think would have been appropriate.
So you blame them for your problems.
Perhaps you're also to blame. Maybe you didn't provide enough training. Perhaps you didn't set expectations correctly. Or maybe you asked too much, too soon.
Taking responsibility when things go wrong can be empowering because you then focus on doing things better or smarter the next time.
And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.
Do people like you for your things, your clothes, your car, your accomplishments? People may like your 'things' but that doesn't mean that they like you.
Superficially they might seem to but that is not substantial and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a relationship worth valuing.
Genuine relationships come when you stop trying to impress and start trying to be yourself. And those relationship make you happier.
When you're afraid or insecure, you have the tendency to hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn't particularly good for you.
An absence of fear is not happiness. It's just the absence of fear.
Holding on to what you think you need won't make you happier either; letting go so you can reach and try to earn what you want will.
And if you don't earn what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about your yourself - hence you'll be happier.
Interrupting isn't just rude. When you interrupt someone, what you're saying to them is 'I'm not listening to you so that I can understand what you're saying - I'm listening to you so that I can decide what I want to say.'
Want people to like you? Truly listen to what they say. Focus on them and what they say. Don't be afraid to ask questions to make sure that you understand what they say.
They'll love you for it because you'll be different from so many people they talk with.
And you know how that will make you feel.
Your words have power, especially over you. When you whine you feel worse, not better.
Don't talk about what's wrong with something. Talk about what you are going to do to make it better. If you continue whining, eventually you'll have to do something, so why not do it now?
Do the same with colleagues and friends. Don't be a shoulder for them to cry on and encourage that behavior.
As Haden says, 'Friends don't let friends whine - friends help friends make their lives better.
You may be the big dog. You may be the boss. And you may be the small tail that wags the huge dog.
In the end, all you really control is you. If you spend your time trying to control others, you've really decided that you, your goals, your desires and your opinions are more important than theirs.
Plus, control is short term because it often requires continual force, fear, authority or some form of pressure, none of which make you feel good about yourself.
A better solution - find people who want to go where you are going. They'll work harder, have more fun and you'll create better business and personal relationships.
And - you'll all be happier.
You may be more educated, even more experienced. You've been around the block more often.
But that does not mean that you are smarter or better.
It just makes you, you - unique, one of a kind, but just you.
Just like everyone else - including your friends, your colleagues and your employees.
Everyone is different, not better or worse. Appreciate the differences instead of pointing out everyone's shortcomings and you'll see everyone in a better light - including yourself.
Haden says that Criticizing has a brother. His name is Preaching and they share a father - Judging.
The more mountains you have climbed, the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think that you know everything, and to tell people everything you think you know.
People may hear you but they don't really listen.
That is sad and leaves you feeling less happy.
The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes and learn from the mistakes of others.
Then - let it go.
Is it hard to focus on letting go? When something bad happens to you, look at it as a chance to learn something you didn't know. When someone else makes a mistake, use that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving and understanding.
Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how you'll make sure that next time everything will go smoothly.
We're all afraid of something - of what might or might not happen, of what we can't change, or what we don't want to change, or how other people might perceive us.
So it's easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment that might never arrive. To decide that we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives.
And in the meantime days, weeks, months and so much of our life passes us by.
So do our dreams.
Don't let your fears hold you back. Whatever you've planned, imagined and dreamed - get started on it today.
If you wanted to start a business, take the first step. If you wanted to make a change in your business, start today.
Put aside your fears and get started. Do something, take the first step.
Otherwise today is gone. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost.
Remember what Bill Keane said, "Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present."
Today is the most precious asset you own, starting today will make you happier.
10 steps to be happier - some easier, some more difficult.